I am here.

You know that feeling you have when you don't feel legit, like you are just faking it and soon the world will expose just how much of a phoney you are. Sounds familiar? Well, you are not alone, the feeling is shared by so many people  that it has a name. Its called Impostor Syndrome which technically means    just feelings of inadequacy that persist even in face of information that indicates that the opposite is true. You might also know of its cousin called self-doubt.

Impostor syndrome is real and I know this because I have been feeling it a lot lately.(trust me , its not a happy place). It took me to question a lot of things like  why I chose engineering, will I even become an engineer? What was I even thinking? etc. Nothing I have ever accomplished seemed enough to shove it off. Not the awards I won, not the leadership positions I held. It really felt like I have been fooling everyone and  they will find out soon so I might as well stop the pretence now. 

. Research shows that women experience it more and its not just in technical fields but in all  fields. The main reason I can attribute this to is because at household level, women are not identified by their careers but by their social accomplishments i.e her husband, number of children she has, how they takes care of her family (at least where I come from) and her career comes second. In such a culture this is to be expected. Impostor Syndrome is real and could be part of the reason we don't have women higher up  the rungs. Ladies if you've ever been there, this post is for you.

If you google 'How to get over Impostor's syndrome' you'll get a lot results but for me , all that worked was 3 words. 'I am here. They are uplifting as Beyonce's 'I was here'.  Just say 'I am here and I'm here to stay!'. You are wherever you are for a reason. Whether you are studying or working or on interim , you are there for a reason, you have the drive and you are smart enough to do it. You can fool yourself but you can't fool the world especially not your employer or your admissions committee or your scholarship committee or your educators or family and sometimes even society at large. You are not impersonating anyone else, it has been you all along and there is a lot more you can do. 

Side note:If you actually really fooled all those people you should seriously consider counterfeiting for a profession ;).

Its all in your head and it has always been. While you are doubting, the rest of the world is moving forward. Long story short, you are here for a reason so stop wasting your energy doubting and go be amazing.